CAN YOU TOP THIS?
Unbelievable or outrageous true stories about everyday experiences in
real estate management b Y LAWRENCE W. bAIAMONTE, CPM® | ILLUSTRATION b Y PAUL LUKAS
I haD JusT aRRIVED aT ThE OffIcE
ONE MORNINg WhEN I REcEIVED a
phONE caLL fROM ONE Of My MaINTENaNcE guys, INfORMINg ME ThaT
a BREaK-IN haD OccuRRED ThE
NIghT BEfORE aT ThE LauNDROMaT
IN ONE Of ThE shOppINg cENTERs I
MaNagED. Immediately, I asked if the police
had been called and he told me that they were
already on the scene; the laundromat manager
had called the police that morning upon opening the doors.
Reassured that the matter was already in
competent hands, I relaxed and asked for
details on what had occurred. I tensed up when
I suddenly learned that the intruder was still
inside the property. I quickly asked if the police
had the criminal in custody, to
which my main-
tenance person
responded,
“Well, not quite.”
“What do
you mean, ‘not
quite’?” I asked,
impatiently.
My maintenance guy then
proceeded to
explain that
the intruder
had removed
the rain cap
from the large
boiler flue on the
roof, crawled down
the flue to attempt to get
into the laundromat, and
got stuck in the flue pipe. As
best as anyone could tell, he had
PIPE DREAMS
LAWreNce W.
BAIAmoNTe,
cPm, (baiamol@
nationwide.
com) IS SeNIor
INVeSTmeNT
ProfeSSIoNAL,
reAL eSTATe
eqUITIeS, WITh
NATIoNWIDe
INSUrANce IN
coLUmBUS, ohIo.
been there for several hours and, although
still alive, was in less-than-perfect health after
breathing natural gas exhaust fumes and getting burned by the hot flue pipe. The group
was waiting on the fire department to arrive
and to cut the intruder out of the flue pipe.
I got to the site as quickly as I could, but
by that time, the intruder had already been
cut out of the flue pipe and transported to
the nearest hospital, with a police escort,
of course. The manager of the laundromat
informed me that they did not keep any cash
in the store overnight, so there was nothing
for the guy to steal anyway. Talk about a ‘
brilliant’ criminal! n
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